The dangers of day care
Is a mother's career really worth the loss of a child? And whatever happened to the liberal's customary "if it saves just one child's life" standard?
What is particularly unfortunate about this incident is that it made almost no financial sense for the baby to be in day care anyhow. "The Fletchers' tragedy started with a dilemma faced by thousands of working parents across Minnesota. Just weeks after Blake was born, in February of that year, Amanda was making plans to return to her $9-an-hour job as a medical records clerk. "It's kind of the American way," she said. "You have the baby, you stay home with them and then you are back to work to support your family." So they began looking for child care. They weighed cost, convenience and availability of providers in Park Rapids. They found that a local child-care center would charge $120 per month more than in-home providers. That's not unusual in Minnesota, where the average annual cost of infant care in a center is $12,900, third-highest in the nation."
In other words, Amanda Fletcher had to work 1,433 hours per year - 35 weeks - simply to pay for average child care. Factor in the payroll and income taxes at approximately 20 percent of her income, and she'd have to work 1,791 hours, or 45 weeks, simply to break even. Even with the cheaper and substandard family home day care, at $7,350 per year she had to work 1,020 hours, or half the year, just to pay for it. If that is the American way, then the American way is as economically illiterate as it is unsustainable.
A Star Tribune examination of hundreds of public records shows that the number of children dying in child care has nearly doubled in the past five years -- reaching the rate of one per month. Nearly all the deaths have occurred at in-home providers (also known as family care), and most involved a child sleeping. The newspaper's investigation also found more unsafe-sleep citations, such as lack of training or children in unsafe sleep positions, at in-home settings than at large child-care centers.What should be done is that married women with young children should be encouraged and given financial incentives to stay home and raise them. What will be done, I suspect, is a useless increase in regulation, perhaps combined with a ban on family homes that will no doubt be strongly supported by the corporations that own the large child-care centers.
The Department of Human Services (DHS), the state's top child-care regulator, is treating the rise in deaths as a public health crisis. "It's huge," said DHS Inspector General Jerry Kerber. "It makes it clear that something has got to be done. What that something is, I think, is going to take the work. ... It's completely unacceptable."
Using a state licensing website, the Star Tribune reviewed 217 licensed family homes and 185 child-care centers that have been cited since July 2010 for violations of state regulations. Some 20 percent of these family homes were cited for having children in unsafe sleeping positions -- such as sleeping on open beds or in mechanical swings -- or sleeping with heavy blankets that present suffocation hazards. About 12 percent of the child-care centers were cited for such violations.
What is particularly unfortunate about this incident is that it made almost no financial sense for the baby to be in day care anyhow. "The Fletchers' tragedy started with a dilemma faced by thousands of working parents across Minnesota. Just weeks after Blake was born, in February of that year, Amanda was making plans to return to her $9-an-hour job as a medical records clerk. "It's kind of the American way," she said. "You have the baby, you stay home with them and then you are back to work to support your family." So they began looking for child care. They weighed cost, convenience and availability of providers in Park Rapids. They found that a local child-care center would charge $120 per month more than in-home providers. That's not unusual in Minnesota, where the average annual cost of infant care in a center is $12,900, third-highest in the nation."
In other words, Amanda Fletcher had to work 1,433 hours per year - 35 weeks - simply to pay for average child care. Factor in the payroll and income taxes at approximately 20 percent of her income, and she'd have to work 1,791 hours, or 45 weeks, simply to break even. Even with the cheaper and substandard family home day care, at $7,350 per year she had to work 1,020 hours, or half the year, just to pay for it. If that is the American way, then the American way is as economically illiterate as it is unsustainable.
Labels: society
60 Comments:
It's all in the Plan.
Not the Good one, mind you.
The other one.
I have, when cornered a bit, had several women simply finally state that they won't be "trapped" at home. They want to leave, and do things. It isn't about money, for a lot of women. It must be a continuation of school type of thing? If they aren't "doing something" they feel inadequate, while they have been taught both that being a home wife is doing nothing AND is slavery? As with school, what many of them do at "work" isn't all that much. But... it's something, damnit! It's been ingrained.
As I actually begin actively looking for a wife... meeting women who are... feasible within my interests and constraints... I see that indoctrination often and powerfully, often in women who one would have thought had been raised right. And... I'm thinking about how to bring a woman back from that minddeath. It reminds me, somehow, of dealing with cult members, removing the indoctrination. I suspect that would have to occur to a degree with any woman, but not like it is so commonly today. The first child often... sets things to right, to a degree. Or it used to change things. Now women believe they are equal, that they should "work", that they should or can remain independent, and lots of other rubbish... lots of it.
I'll be working on things over time. I just hope to get the marriage thing as right as possible from the start, if it is even possible to find a woman to trust. It's a tough row to hoe on the best of footing. Starting on a slippery slope makes marriage impossible.
Now women believe they are equal, that they should "work", that they should or can remain independent, and lots of other rubbish..
They have nothing to Give to another human being - man or child - and simply use this as a convenient Excuse.
It is not about Giving to them, it's about Getting.
Financial incentives? At whose expense?
Why should I pay for someones else's kids, when my own have their own needs.
No one is going to lift a finger to help a white bastard like me.
Women have nothing to give to another human being? (Is this your contention, or are you quoting). When I read stories like this I see the opposite. Women have everything to give...the point being little children need to be at home with their mommies (or daddies if that is the arrangement). Not taken care of by a worker who sees them as nothing more than an income generating bag of water.
Now...if a woman decides to place her energy into her career...than I would contend she is not only wasting her time on something that will rust and collect moths, but relinquishing her role as someone who will effect her child's life (be it faith, values, education).
She has done one of two things - both unfortunate - 1) believed the lie that society, her family and her individual status of as a human are somehow bettered by being in the workforce and not staying at home, and/or 2) she doesn't give a rip - she aint stayin at home with the kiddies because it's too hard.
I have noticed that many women don't want to think too hard on this...and will gladly ignore the balance sheet and work and utilize daycare, even if it costs more than staying at home.
This is not because the woman has nothing to offer or give to another human being, but precisely because she is the best person...and raising kids at home, IMO, is perhaps the highest honor in the kingdom of God.
It is understandable that daycare should be that expensive - after all, the little monsters you have to look after have been raised in daycare.
Don't want to harp in this, but only last night I thanked God for having a wife who actually wants to be a mother - and how that has blessed our marriage and our family.
Walleye opener was this week in MI. I spent the past 2 days on the Saginaw river tracking walleye. Caught 4 in about 20 hrs of fishing. Caught about 50 white bass, 10 smallies, 8 northern, 4 sheeps head and a 20lb carp (Also caught a 35 in, 28lb catfish with a 2 lb white bass in it's mouth). Came home on Saturday night...wifey looked tired, and the kids were in the backyard with our two chocolate labs doing their best to destroy my backyard.
Asked the kiddies what they did this weekend. Friday morning my two homeschooled kiddies finished their math and spelling worksheets - my older daughter finished her Latin and Greek homework. Then they went to the Henry Ford museum...ate at McDonalds, and then camped out in the living room (put up a tent, sleeping bags) - the little one slept in her pack-in-play, and dressed her stuffed animals in camping outfits.
Saturday was breakfast, and to the park all morning (we live next to a school with a huge playground). Rode bikes to grandma's...and made welcome home signs for my return. We grilled hotdogs, and then put three very exhausted kids to bed. Kissed the wife goodnight and she passed out while I caught up on watching ESPN.
Much better than asking the kids - what did you do this weekend? Spent Friday with 20 other kids, half with colds and snotty noses, doing our best to get some attention from the 3 employees. Then, came home and ate processed lunchmeat, American cheese and a granola bar...then struggled to get to sleep. Saturday, we drove mom crazy because she doesn't really like being with us for long periods of time - we watched 6 hours of Phineas and Ferb.
God bless stay at home moms. It is our civic and Christian duty to uplift this as not forgoing a career, but providing our children with what is best for them. It's that whole, thinking of others more than ourselves metric I'm getting at.
And... I'm thinking about how to bring a woman back from that minddeath.
About the only thing that I can think of is to make it perfectly clear that any woman you will be marrying will be staying home with your children. My husband said this to me at one point and I was ecstatic. I went to college as a back up plan and to get my M.R.S. but all I ever really wanted to be was a SAHM. I don't know how many younger girls feel this way today, but you might find one who is very happy that you do.
My husband likes to tease many of the women where he works about what I do. Of course, he words it to make them as uncomfortable (not angry, but uncomfortable, he's charming so it disarms them) as possible. He has been shocked at how many times women have said "Wow, you know. That arrangement really does seem quite nice." Only these women's husbands don't demand or even ask for it and I think these women wish they would.
I imagine it's part not bothering to do the math, then they are defensive, assuaging their guilt in leaving them to someone else. Maybe that's why math isn't really taught anymore?
@JCD
You live in GR?
And unrelated, mmmm, walleye...
There's also the risk of the baby being "forgotten" by mom in the car while she goes to work. Baby dies. This is happening often enough I can't help but suspect this is a tactic for "postpartum abortion." That kid's getting in the way of mom's career, after all, and so far I haven't seen any woman found guilty of any crime for "forgetting" to drop the baby off at daycare and the baby dying in the hot car.
Also, when I was in college, I worked in a daycare. I swore to myself that I would NEVER send my future kids to daycare, and I didn't. No regrets whatsoever over that decision. Career - bah. Who cares.
I've also heard many women on maternity leave comment that they can't wait to get back to work because its easier.
Shutterbug This is happening often enough I can't help but suspect this is a tactic for "postpartum abortion."
Clearly we need to legalize postpartum abortion, or else we force women to go to hot cars to get it.
Innumeracy kills. On a related note, expect the push for employer paid daycare to be renewed as a "human rights" issue ala healthcare. Obama will almost certainly roll this out during campaign season. Captain Underoos will almost certainly seek to promise even more welfare to support the hypergamous instincts of the working dead and their bastard spawn. In the name of ecoonomic progress, of course.
I used to think the explanation for latchkey kids was purely economic, and that ending various subsidies towards working women would be all it took to undo the problem. I still think it would be a good start, but things like this post convince me that indoctrination plays a large part too.
It's just abortion by other means.
We live in a culture that hates life in general and children in particular.
8th classic blunder:
Never go in against a zombie mom when security is on the line...
Most daycare kids are not private pay. Fraud is rampant in the system. The parent lies about their income and gets government assistance. The daycare owner looks the other way. DHS gets their claws in you and everyones happy but the taxpayer.
JDC:I spent the past 2 days on the Saginaw river tracking walleye. Caught 4 in about 20 hrs of fishing.
Come on man, what kind of fishing report is that?
What color jig heads? Male or female? What size? Where'd you launch out of? Did you mark a lot of fish? What depth? How many of the waitresses at the Hooters were clearly showing (classy)?
pro tip: 911 wings make for a miserable next day bouncing around on the water. Don't do it!
Why should I pay for someones else's kids, when my own have their own needs.
I can think of some fair, pro-family financial/legal changes we could make:
1) Remove all daycare tax deductions.
2) Remove all legal guarantees for maternity-related benefits from employers.
3) Remove the marriage tax.
4) Treat children as adults when calculating household income liability (rather than making them a dependent) which would make having more children much more attractive to wealthier families.
5) Broadly, stop rewarding make-work administrative employment, including high-end ones like lawyering, in favor of value producing employment.
6) Abolish the Federal Reserve. (This just makes any list of improvements I make, but I have a feeling it it relates to 5.)
Cheers,
prat
cherub's revenge said
Come on man, what kind of fishing report is that?
I had my best luck so far (and this changes as the year progresses) with a) double drop shot using medium sized octopus hooks and leeches, b) KVD Orange Belly Craw Crank bait & Rappala deep runner craw dad colored too, c) simple drift rig with crawlers.
While waiting for me at the doctor's office, my daughters got to watch and overhear the women at the reception desk exchange their anti-anxiety drugs. Everyday life for the empowered among us.
Imagine what a woman from 200 years ago would think hearing of such a retarded phenomenon. "Your babies are taken care of all day by the lowest bidder? So you can pretend you're worth something and earn just enough to pay for that child care? Did suffrage require surrendering your flippin' brain?"
Doom
Amen. A lot of these woman are just plain lazy and don't want to raise their children. So why not drop them off and leave them be while they can go to the office and surf Facebook, phone friends, and bitch about how shitty their lives are to each other. A friend of mine married a girl that would still drop his kids off at daycare on her "numerous" off days and just go home and sleep. A teacher no less, go figure.
SarahsDaughter,
What did you girls think of the conversation?
TLM: "A friend of mine married a girl that would still drop his kids off at daycare on her "numerous" off days and just go home and sleep. A teacher no less, go figure."
I saw that a lot when I worked at the daycare. It would piss me off. Many of those poor babies were at daycare from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily even when mom or dad had the day free. Those kids are adults now. I wonder how they turned out... eh, I can guess.
I think my oldest was a bit surprised to see it first hand. We talk about how common it is that people can not live life well and therefore medicate themselves and/or their children. They've seen plenty of children on and off their meds, but this was the first time that they witnessed two adult women speak unashamedly about their need for drugs.
Screw this parenting stuff. I'm just going to get a puppy.
MMaier2112,
You've been scammed. The culture is obsessed with population reduction and you've responded accordingly.
The Prince of this world hates humanity. He has many followers.
Where are the liberals running around with their enormous gavels and sweeping bans and mandates? This is their customary mode when it comes to doing it all for the children. Heck, last year it was revealed that children's injuries on farms had fallen a staggering 60%, nobody knows why, it sort of happened by itself. The liberal remedy to the non-problem fixing itself? Ban children from working on farms anyway, just in case.
I went to a day care center in Northern California once to do some plumbing repairs.Got a call to go to the day care center after closing hours. The administrator waited for me.
The children's bathroom was unisex. There was a sign by the bathroom entance indicating "unisex".There was no door to the bathroom! The bathroom was in full view of the play area! There were no doors on the bathroom stalls! The poor children had no privacy at all.
Very disgusting.
The adult bathrooms had doors,and the doors were locked. I had to ask the administrator for keys to get into the adult bathrooms. The adult bathrooms had doors on the stalls as it should be.
I left there that day broken-hearted for the children.That was about 6-7 years ago. I remember thinking how cruel it is to not give children any privacy,not even in the bathroom.
I wouldn't put a young child in a daycare center for all the money in the world. Joe
The bathroom was in full view of the play area! The bathroom was in full view of the play area!
Well, pedophiles do gravitate to that field. Obviously they will arrange some little benefits for themselves.
Day cares make so much money, Amanda Fletcher could have quit her job and started her own home day care, making a small fortune while making sure her own child stayed alive.
I had an acquaintance who ran a home daycare business. She had an infant die while under her care, and as far as I know she wasn't negligent. It was quite devastating for her. I'm not defending her at all, nor am even that well acquainted with her, but the point is that parents are as likely to be ignorant of the safest way to care for their babies as anyone else. If more and more babies end up in daycare, then more and more babies will die while in daycare.
The only way to know if there is a statistical difference is to compare the numbers of infants who die while in their on homes versus those who die while in daycare.
I don't trust the statistics of government agencies. Their numbers always tend to favor the need for more control and regulations.
I'm just talking facts here. Personally, I don't see how any mother could willing hand over her tiny, defenseless infant to a stranger in a strange place for the whole day, day after day. It must take a veritable Cirque du Solei type of mental gymnastics to justify this to themselves, and then continue to live with it. Or, they're just cold bitches who aren't bothered at all by it.
> Did suffrage require surrendering your flippin' brain?"
Yes. Next question?
- " Or, they're just cold bitches who aren't bothered at all by it."
It's a rather pitiful testament to our society, but this IS a sizable portion of it. Of course, if you were abandoned by your parents by being tossed into daycare so they could "have it all," then the chances are likely that you don't see an issue with abandoning your children.
Of course, payback's a bitch, so we have the first generation en masse of those that chose this way of life growing old, Remember Boomers, fellow Xers, etc, that you modeled the behavior to your children(those you didn't abort) when they dump you into assisted living. You'll have a lot to ponder when you are sitting in your dirty adult diaper waiting for an overworked $9 an hr worker to make the rounds to attend to you. You're on their schedule, after all!
Stingray:
"He has been shocked at how many times women have said "Wow, you know. That arrangement really does seem quite nice." Only these women's husbands don't demand or even ask for it and I think these women wish they would."
These women forgot the old adhage of, "Be careful what you ask for; you could get it."
Today's Women shouldn't complain about modern society and about how they are expected to work just like men are expected to; it's what they demanded, and it's what they now have.
TLM:
"A friend of mine married a girl that would still drop his kids..."
Anymore, they are HIS kids only when it comes to child support; otherwise the children are HERS -- sit in any (Anti-) Family Court and you will see that premise played out the overwhelming majority of the time.
Suomynona:
"Or, they're just cold bitches who aren't bothered at all by it."
Remember, this is the same gender that murders thousands of their own helpless unborn babies every year, instead of letting those same babies be born and then adopted by parents that want them.
Now that I think about it, this prediliction to abort sounds a LOT like a control issue and a tendency to want to 'play God'.
Curlytop May 06, 2012 2:11 PM
Of course, if you were abandoned by your parents by being tossed into daycare so they could "have it all," then the chances are likely that you don't see an issue with abandoning your children.
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold -- Matthew 24:12
I can see how this is happening to us. People, especially liberals, pay a lot of lip service to love and compassion, but when it comes down to it, they have neither. They serve their leftist ideology more than they serve real people. Feminists represent the opposite of love and compassion. They don't value the love between a mother and child, or between a man and woman. They love the Nanny State which gives them power, the true object of their desire.
I would think that love, trust and the normal bonds between people would all become unnecessary and thus less likely to be cultivated in a completely Socialist State, as opposed that of a society where people had to forge alliances and be dependent on others for their survival.
Perhaps a study of North Korea could provide some insight into the effects of a totalitarian government on the relationships between the people under its control. Although, a kind word, friendly gesture, and loving family might be very valuable in this isolated and barren environment. It's hard to say and I haven't a clue about their lives. My impression of them is that they're all extremely brainwashed and submissive sheep who worship their god, the State.
My son disobeying a direct order...irritating. Potty training a stubborn toddler...intensely frustrating. Siblings fighting and screaming...infuriating sometimes. 9 times out of 10 trips they go shopping and running chores with me. Its a lot of work. My question is, a lot of women who go to work rather than parenting their own children do so because pareting can be extremely stressfull. Parenting full-time requires constant self awareness and restraint.Yet they trust a non-blood related child-care-worker to practice the intense level of patience they themselves lack for $3 per hour per child? How can they not expect their little special snowflake to suffer some form of neglect or abuse in a daycare?
Like I've said before I believe most young couples are extremely financially ignorant just like the woman in the article but a lot of them are indoctrinated to think that child care is a normal way of raising children.
What makes a file clerk job a "career"? What is the racial breakdown of the deaths. If more black babies are killed it shows white racism. But if we crack down on black child care providers we are racist, too. Has the child mortality rate changed in Minnesota with these six extra deaths per annum? Are as many kids dying from falls and bicycle wrecks as sleeping wrong? Frankly, is this really an "epidemic"? It could be a whole propaganda campaign ginned up by Kindercare. Also, with only 6-12 deaths per year can we even say this 6-to-12 change is statistically significant? I hate it when they put innumerate white girl reporters on these projects.
oregon mouse May 06, 2012 4:51 PM
My question is, a lot of women who go to work rather than parenting their own children do so because pareting can be extremely stressfull. Parenting full-time requires constant self awareness and restraint.
I agree about the demands of parenting, which is why I don't believe that the mother and father were meant to be the only two people parenting their own children all the time, 24 hours a day, every day. Ideally, the extended family would provide much needed regular breaks from the constant care and supervision that children, especially the very young ones, require.
Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. all helping out seems to be the better alternative to daycare, or even an at-home babysitter. That's not to say that any extended family member is automatically a good temporary parental substitute, but the odds favor that at least some would be better than some minimum wage-earning stranger or the teenager down the street.
BTW, this is not the same concept as "it takes a village" crap that the socialists push. I believe that tight extended families that can rely on each other is the ideal family unit. Of course, this also involves all the complications that come with being closely involved with more people, but everything has a price!
While I am in general agreement with the consensus here, I'm going to second what I Think Big Bill getting at and say that this whole story sounds like a propaganda piece for someone looking to regulate smaller cheaper day-care services out of the market. I agree with the point of the post, but don't think this story is the best way to make it. I'm very skeptical of the whole "dangerous sleep" thing... how did we survive as a species if our babies are so feeble that they suffocate if not put down to sleep in the manner deemed appropriate by scientists? Seems more likely to me that these children had some other problem which ultimately resulted in their dying in their sleep or being so weak as to suffocate in their sleep. The children most likely to have untreated medical problems, to suffer ill-effects of drug use by the mother, etc. are the children of the poor, exactly the ones likely to be utilizing the lowest-cost day cares.
Doesn't mean I want my children anywhere near ANY such place, but I also don't want the state establishing a defacto monopoly over the service by regulating all but a few big players out of the business. I bet the statistics being cited are cooked or cherry-picked in some way.
There are also that latent costs that I am surprised VD didn't mention... such as gas, wear and tear on the vehicles, medial co-pays for the kids when they get sick every week from being mixed together with all the other little boogers like pigs... and the ear infection surgery where the substandard health care will only pay 20 percent etc. etc. etc. etc.
So families probably actually LOSE money by sending their kids to mini rendition camps. But it's the phatty-pig-phatty American way. Oh, so worth it!
Stingray,
About the only thing that I can think of is to make it perfectly clear that any woman you will be marrying will be staying home with your children.
That works.
You-All,
Glad I piped up. I had thought about just grumbling at the screen and moving on. Lots of support and advice to be had out there though. Thanks. A good woman is worth the effort. Even if I give them lots of harangue pie. Ah, they love it, when they get it. And you got to admit they give it right back, in spades. :p
@Doom
Stingray May 06, 2012 7:25 AM
And... I'm thinking about how to bring a woman back from that minddeath.
About the only thing that I can think of is to make it perfectly clear that any woman you will be marrying will be staying home with your children.
That's what I did, too. You would be surprised at how many working women are just waiting for a man to say that to them. From the very beginning I said that day care was not an option, and it turned out to not even be an argument.
I think the key here is authority. I mean this in the best possible way: women want to submit to an authority. It used to be the God, church and husband. Now it is government, Newsweek, and Hollywood. This is the primary reason so many women do the whole "empowered career woman" thing. They have been taught by the worldly authorities that this is the expected and proper thing, so they fall into line. When a woman meets a man who doesn't bend to politically-correct thinking as sanctioned by the cultural authority structure, she suddenly has a choice about which authority means more to her. Let *that* remain perfectly clear to her. The fact that you are completely unflappable and willing to walk if your standards are not met will instantly weed out the undesirables and it will be like catnip to the woman who's been waiting to hear it.
Absolutely, take the children younger and younger from the parents...I know a couple who paid around $40k for artificial insemination just to drop their baby off at daycare. Mom works for $10/hr and dad works for $13/hr. Who paid for the artificial insemination is beyond me - I don't get it and didn't ask.
I'm very skeptical of the whole "dangerous sleep" thing... how did we survive as a species if our babies are so feeble that they suffocate if not put down to sleep in the manner deemed appropriate by scientists?
Many babies are having issues with muscle development because they are spending much of their waking hours in car seats, swings and other supportive furniture rather than being able to strengthen their bodies with natural movement that being on the floor or held by person allows. I do wonder how much this habit of keeping babies 'belted in' even when not in the car contributes to poor health.
Many babies are having issues with muscle development because they are spending much of their waking hours in car seats, swings and other supportive furniture rather than being able to strengthen their bodies with natural movement
(Snicker) I think that applies to most adults nowadays also.
This is an outrage! We need the FBI and ATF to raid a few of these substandard daycare centers.
I knew a woman who worked as a nanny for a couple who were both highly paid professionals, lawyers I think. They tried and tried and tried and finally had this baby they so desperately wanted. "Alice" was there by 7 a.m. so that Mommy and Daddy could get to the office. They would get home late enough in the evening so that Alice was instructed to keep little Sweet Pea awake so that they could spend their half hour "quality time" with her. Why did they bother having a chid at all? Just another thing on their bucket list?
People, it's not about praying to the god of the State, it's about praying to the god of MONEY.
THIS is what motivates two people making $100k EACH to say "We have to work" and really believe it.
They want the lifestyle, the vacations, the stuffing of the savings accounts, the pride that comes with owning expensive stuff, the power of wealth.
THIS is what they are all about. It's not idealogy.
I see it every day around here. These couples could easily live on one income (as we do) but they want want want and the kids pay the price.
I meant to comment on this yesterday in reference to the above post on daycare bathrooms. You see that kind of bathroom set-up in the schools now. Last summer, our kids attended an outdoor camp(archery, obstacle course, etc) at a local elementary school. It's one of the newest and most raved about schools by the locals. Of course, the building looks like the State Pen, but right down to the bathrooms. There isn't a door to enter from the main hall at all. It's a breezeway w the sinks lined up on the wall outside the bathroom. It looks like something straight out of Alcatraz! This isn't a school in an urban area either.
On our way home, I pointed that out to the kids, and said: "This is reason #... why we home educate!"
Doom, it isn't so much indoctrination, as it is a latent cultural fixation on penis envy. And always remember, women are herd animals, not pack animals like men. The ones you thought would perhaps make a suitable wife won't, simply because women feed off of each others emotions, which are strongly rooted in the state.
I strongly recommend importing a wife. You'll have much better luck, and improve your chances greatly of a lasting and satisfying marriage. And the language barrier is very useful. If she speaks English, but not well enough to enjoy it, it can be a powerful defense against the passive-aggressive bullying tactics of the so-called emancipated. While it is true that you gotta fish through the ones who simply want a means to get into the states, this is easily offset when you say from the beginning that you are considering leaving the states, anyhow. Conveniently changing your mind when things get serious is something I strongly doubt she'll complain over in the least. I've been married three times now, and in the third, I bothered to follow my own advice. The difference is night and day. She's a surgical nurse who could easily make over twice what I get in the military, but made it very clear that when the babies start coming out, she has every intention of staying home to raise them. And she has no trouble letting me take control, not just in the bedroom, but outside as well.
What about that stipend that schools get for kids in their district? It could conceivably be given to families with SAHM's
It could conceivably be given to families with SAHM's
HELL NO.
With that money comes the state thinking they then have some say as to how that money should be spent. Therefore, they think they have a say on how children should be raised. It is bad enough the things that are forced on families without them being given any money. I can't imagine how it would be with it.
Someone here asked about North Korea?
DOOM:
"As I actually begin actively looking for a wife. I just hope to get the marriage thing as right as possible from the start, if it is even possible to find a woman to trust. It's a tough row to hoe on the best of footing. Starting on a slippery slope makes marriage impossible."
Forget about a wife, in America, extinction of that species is well documented.
I am curious, what do they pay for mat leave in the States and how long is it?
@Doom,
Don't be a pussy.
Don't tiptoe around the issue--be completely explicit to women when talking about what you want. If they are morally outraged that you would "trap" your potential wife into being a stay-at-home mom, turn around and talk to some other chick.
Do NOT waste time arguing with the first chick, or believe her when she says she's open to the possibility. I have reaped untold rewards from laughing at numerous women who tried to argue with me. I just kept looking until I found a woman who said 'well sure, that's best for the children" the first time I brought it up. She's now Misses Geoff-UK.
I am curious, what do they pay for mat leave in the States and how long is it?
I don't know across the board what it is, but my husband could have had six weeks off paid. I think for women it's typically three months. It really depends on the kind of job too.
Do NOT waste time arguing with the first chick, or believe her when she says she's open to the possibility. I have reaped untold rewards from laughing at numerous women who tried to argue with me. I just kept looking until I found a woman who said 'well sure, that's best for the children" the first time I brought it up. She's now Misses Geoff-UK.
Bingo.
I find the discussions interesting. I have two teenage daughters. They are women I would admire and want to be around. They don't date, in our family dating doesn't begin until college age. We just felt that would be best for them emotionally to avoid the HS boy/dating drama until they are more mature, both guys and girls. They are working toward their education goals. I read your comments...where are the family orientated stay at home moms. Why are so many women libs or women just looking to divorce and financially clean the guys clock. I would like to believe men are being raise to cherish an intelligent girl who would love to stay at home and raise a family as I have, but my reality with experience has been seeing my friends lives shattered by their husbands inability to get off the computer/porn addictions. I thought the first time it was just a rarity, but now I'm comforting the fourth stay at home mom whose husband has a porn addiction. Their financial lives are ruined and must re-enter the workforce with no resume and an outdated education. It's tough, they survive but I worry if I should encourage my girls to not give up their financial futures into the hands of one man. A man wants a well educated, attractive, funny, social wife but she puts her future in his hands when she decides to stay at home to raise their kids. Wouldn't it be better for them to provide for their own futures?
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